


Now I Pay The Price

by Pikabitch



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Levi is gonna kill me, M/M, Suicide, big OOC-ness, ends with death, start with some hot action, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-25
Updated: 2016-12-08
Packaged: 2018-05-09 06:09:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,337
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5528936
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pikabitch/pseuds/Pikabitch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This takes place after the court episode in which Eren gets beaten up. Levi cleans Eren after that they begin to do the naughty stuff, but Hanji is being a cockblock. She takes Eren somewhere where she can do tests on him. contains: Ereri, depression and suicide. Don't read if you are trigged by any of this!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> the following elements are named in this: Hot action, Death, Depression, Guilt and Suicide. If you can't stand one of these things don't read. If you do can handle these things then enjoy!

-Eren’s P.O.V-

I still feel Heichou’s boots on my cheeks. ‘I know it is for my safety, but did he really had to kick me so hard?’ I think to myself. “Oi brat, do you hate me now?” Levi asks while he sets himself next to me on the sofa. “N-n-no I don’t hate you I know it was for my own safety” I say. ‘I am so stupid’ I curse about myself some more in my thoughts when suddenly Levi says: “Eren come with me. This is an order” “Y-y-yes sir” I stumble over the words and follow Levi to his room. I can hear Hanji protesting and Erwin who is calming her down.  
“Why are we here, sir?” I asks in a whisper voice just loud enough for Levi to hear. “We are here because we need to clean you up, don’t we?” he answers, walks past me and locks the door. ‘This is bad, so bad’ I repeated this a few times in my head when Levi suddenly stands in front of me. “Brat, look at me when I’m talking to you” he says. “Y-yes sir!” I answer a little bit in shock. “Did you hear what I said to you?” “N-n-no I didn’t hear it” I stumble. “I said: ‘Take off your shirt and pants and go sit on the bed then I will get a washcloth.’ Do you hear me now?” Levi says a bit annoyed. “Why do I have to take off my pants?” I asks slowly. “So I can clean you properly” Levi answers while rolling his eyes. “Okay” I answer back and start to take off my shirt and pants and walk to the bed. Levi went to the bathroom next to his bedroom and came back with a washcloth. I try to remember the last time I took a shower or washed myself. “Eren look at me” Levi says, I came back to reality and turn my head to Levi so he can wash my face. The washcloth touches my face and I shiver. “What’s wrong?” Levi asks, I think I could hear a bit of concern, but I must be mistaken. “Nothing, it’s just cold.” Levi stands up and walks to the bathroom with the washcloth. When he came back after a few seconds, he holds the washcloth against my cheek and asks: “Is it still cold?” Now I really heard concern in his voice. “No it isn’t” I answer and he continues to wash my face.  
When he was done with my face, Levi slowly put the washcloth against my chest, I start to blush for no reason. ‘Why the hell am I blushing? What is this feeling? Why am I feeling it now? What is wrong with me?’ All these questions rush through my head. When I suddenly feel a pair of soft lips against mine. I look at Levi in shock and then slowly close my eyes and deepen the kiss. ‘Why is he doing this? Why does this not feel weird? What happens to me? Am I in …… l-l-love …… with Levi?’ I pull away from the kiss and look into Levi’s beautiful grey eyes. Did I just say beautiful? Yes I did but I don’t care. I can see a slight blush to appear on Levi’s cheeks and I think I’m blushing like a madman. There was a uneasy silent between us, I slowly open my mouth to say something but I didn’t really know what so I decide to talk about random stuff: “When do you think I will see my friends again, corporal?” I see him look away to think. “I don’t think soon, but I’m sure you will see them again” Levi finally answers. ‘I’m glad with that answer then I can tell Armin about this. He always know what to do’ I start to smile at this thought. I see Levi staring at me again. “Is there something wrong, corporal?” he has a slight sight of a blush on his cheeks. “There is nothing. Eren, chin up.” I do as I was told and feel the washcloth against my throat, it was cold. I start to shiver again. “What’s wrong?” Levi asks with clear concern. “Nothing sir” “Don’t lie to me” “I am not lying” “Yes you are, I can see it in your eyes” “What is wrong with my eyes?” I ask while I put up big puppy eyes. I see Levi looking to the right side with a pink blush on his cheeks. I slowly came closer to Levi until I was right in front of him. He turns his head back to me and looks straight into my eyes and I look straight into his eyes. “There is nothing wrong with your eyes. They are beautiful” Levi says and closes the gap between us. I surrender to the kiss and throw my arms around Levi’s neck while his hands go around my waist. We deepen the kiss and I feel Levi’s tongue ask for entrance, that I gladly gave. The kiss deepened even more like Levi never wanted it to end what I actually also want, but we had to stop for air. After we both had recovered we smash our lips back together. Levi’s hands slowly made their way to the front area of my boxers. I gasp at the sudden touch, but didn’t stop Levi from touching me. He slowly moves his hand up and down over my now hard member. I let out a few moans. “Let me hear more of your own made music” Levi whispers in my ear. I try to hold back a loud moan, but let it out when Levi moved his hand faster. I gasp when I suddenly feel Levi’s mouth on my erection. ‘It’s so hot and wet’ I think as Levi runs his tongue across my length. Quickly a second gasp follows as I feel Levi’s fingers at my entrance. But before he could press one finger inside we hear footsteps. Levi quickly raises his head and pulls my boxer in place. The door opens and Hanji sticks her head out. “Levi, Erwin wants to talk to you” she says. We can see a little blood come from her nose. “Hanji, are you okay?” I ask. “Yes I am fine. Why?” “Your nose is bleeding” I say as I point at Hanji’s nose. “Oh that is nothing” she says and wipes the blood away with a napkin. “Where is Erwin?” Levi asks to Hanji. “In his office. Is it okay if I ‘borrow’ Eren?” she says as Levi gets up and starts walking to the door. “For how long?” “A few days” Hanji whispers that last word, but we could both clearly hear it. “What for?” Levi asks suspicious. “For an experiment” she answers. “Heichou, are you alright?” I asks silently. “Yeah I am fine brat. Just follow shitty glasses to where she wants to take you” he says back. I could hear a little sadness in his voice. “Okay, let’s go Eren” I hear Hanji say and she grabs my arm. “Wait Hanji. Let me first get dressed” I says and pull my arm loose. “Okay okay. I will wait outside” she answers and walks out.

-Levi’s p.o.v-

I watch as the brat gets dressed. “Goodbye sir” he says before he walks out to Hanji. I put on a simple shirt and pants and walk to Erwin’s office.  
I knock on the door, hear him call and enter the office. “What did you wanted to talk about?” I ask already bored of being here. “About the experiment Hanji will pull on Eren” “Yeah what about it?” I saw he doubted before answering an answer I wish I didn’t heard. “He might not survive” he says calmly. It hit me like a stone in the face. “What do you mean?” I ask afraid to loose Eren. “Hanji wants to figure out what makes Eren turn into a titan” “Why on earth would she want to know that?!?” I shout in his face almost losing my cool. “Hanji thinks she can make something with it” Erwin says calmly like he doesn’t care whether Eren dies or not. “What if she can’t? What if Eren dies for nothing?!?” I keep shouting useless things at him until he puts his hand on my shoulder and I notice tears falling down my cheeks. “Levi calm down” “No… I can’t let her kill Eren!” I shout and run out of the office to the stables. I know I was too late to stop them from leaving but I still had to try. As I reach the stables I see no one. Two horses are gone. ‘I am too late, they have already left’ I think and fall to my knees. Tears stream down my face.

(Author’s recommend: start listening to sad music here for extra feels)  
-Three weeks later-

It was now three weeks later and they still haven’t returned. ‘Eren probably died and Hanji is afraid to come back’. Ever since the second week I stared having this thought, I tried to think about something else but I couldn’t. I walk slowly to Erwin’s office. “Have you heard anything from Hanji?” I ask my voice like a whisper. “No I haven’t. I am sorry, Levi” “It is not your fault” I say and walk back to my room.

-Four weeks later-

‘Four weeks……still nothing, this is it now it is certain Eren is dead. MOVE ON!’ my mind has been shouting this at me repeatedly since I went to Erwin’s office the third week. I again walk to Erwin’s office not expecting much. “But how do we tell Levi?” I hear a voice say as I stand in front of Erwin’s office. “I don’t know, he is really fond of him” ‘Fond of who? Who are they talking about?’ “I know and it is all my fault” I recognise the voice. It was Hanji’s. Does this mean I get to see Eren again?! I slam the door open and see Hanji standing there with tears in her eyes. “Levi!!!! I am soooooo sorry!!” she shouts between cries. “What do you mean?” I ask confused and look around to see if Eren was here. “Where is Eren?” Erwin opens his mouth and says with a serious face: “Levi please do not get upset or mad… but Eren couldn’t make it back.” ‘What? What is he talking about? Eren couldn’t make it?’ my head was running wild. “What do you mean?” I ask my voice unsteady. “It means that Hanji experiment has failed and Eren did not make it through” he says calmly. My eyes grow wide in shock and disbelieve. “Do you mean Eren is……” the last word wouldn’t come out. I couldn’t believe it, Erwin or Hanji. “This can’t be true, this can’t be happing to me” I run out the office. I couldn’t take it anymore, run into my room and lock the door. “Please don’t be sad” I hear a voice say I turn around but see no one. “It wasn’t Hanji’s fault it was mine, I wasn’t careful enough” “Eren?? Is that you?” I ask. I feel tears run down my cheeks. “Please stop crying, don’t be sad anymore, be happy. I am with you and I will love you forever” his voice begins to fade away. “Eren! Eren, answer me! EREN!!” I shout the tears keep coming faster and faster. “Please don’t leave me again” I shout weakly but he was now gone forever. Never coming back. Never. Never…… 

-Exactly one year later-

It has been a year since it happend. I could barely make it to this point. I was standing in front of Eren's grave.

-Here lies Eren Yaeger, died at the age of 15-

That was all that was written on the gravestone. Tears cover my face as I lay down the flowers. "I have tries living without you Eren, but I can't. I really tried, so forgive me for this" I whisper and rise the gun next to my head. "I just can't live without you" I continue as i close my eyes. In the distance someone screams my name but I ignore it and place my finger on the trigger. "Never thought this would be my end" I say. Then i throw my head up and feel the cold iron of the gun on my temple. I tighten my grip on the gun and pull the trigger.


	2. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two years have passed since that day… no one talks about it but they still feel the pain.

-Erwin p.o.v-

‘Has it already been two years since it happen?’ I think to myself as I look at the two stones in front of me. In two years of time I lost nine good soldiers. Two of them died, the rest lost the will to fight the titans. I lay the flowers in front of the stones and trace my fingers over the words engraved in them. One reads: ‘Here lies Eren Yeager. Died at the age of 15’ the other: ‘Here lies Levi Ackerman. Died at the age ……’ the rest of the sentence was covered in moss. “You were both good soldiers. And you will be missed for a lot of years. I will make sure to fulfil your dream Eren. The titans will be extinct” I say and turn around to walk back to the HQ, but I am stopped by two young soldiers. “What are you two doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be training?” I ask. “We came here to see the grave of our friend, sir” the blond boy answers. “What are your names?” “I am Armin Arlet and this is Mikasa Ackerman, sir” Armin says. “You are the friends of Eren Yeager?” I ask, the names sounds so familiar. “Yes we are” Mikasa answers. “Okay, I will leave you two alone but make sure you come back before nightfall” I say and continue my walk back to the HQ.

I walk through the gate and walk towards my office. Before I can reach my office I am being stopped by Hanji. She was in tears. The last two years have been very hard for her, she kept saying it was her fault Eren died and that Levi committed suicide. I kept telling her it wasn’t her fault and that she couldn’t change the things that happened and needed to keep looking at the bright side. I one time caught her almost killing herself too. She had a rope tied around her neck and was ready to hang herself. But that is all in past now, even though she still cries sometimes she has accepted it and kind of moved on with her live. But back to the matter at hand: a crying Hanji. She clung to my chest crying heavenly. “It’s okay to cry, with that you show you have moved on but still care for the lost ones” I say trying to console her. “I-I know that” she hiccups. “Hanji, I want you to keep strong, you are the new squad leader and those people are known for their strength” I say and hug her tightly. “Thank you” Hanji says and walks away. ‘I hope everything will be all right’ I think as I watch her leave. I let out a deep sigh and entre my office.

 

-Hanji p.o.v-

As I hug Erwin I hear his consoling words and feel myself calm down. “Thank you” I whisper and leave. I walk to the stables and see a few young soldiers standing there. “Dude isn’t this the same squad as where humanities strongest soldier Levi Ackerman once served in?” one says with amaze in his voice. “I think you are right” the other answers. “So what are you two talking about?” I ask as I stand behind them. They turn their heads to me with fear on their faces. “N-nothing ma’am” they say in union. “Then stop hanging around and start working!” I shout at them. “Yes ma’am!” they answer and start to clean out the stables.

I keep watching the two soldiers until they are done with their job. “Ma’am we are done with our job, do you want us to do something else?” they ask me. “No not really. You two are free for now so go” I say and wave them off. I watch them leave. As soon as they are out of sight I walk into the stables, grab a horse and ride outside of the fort.

“It’s been a while, hasn’t it?” I ask, staring at the stone. “Here lies Eren Y..ger. Died at … age of 15” is written on one of the stones. Some of the words are covered is moss, barely readable. The other stating: “Here lies Levi …erman. Died at … ag. ….” . I think out loud: “Two years when it all happened. Two years without any success of reclaiming land back. Two years without Levi and Eren. I haven’t told anyone this, but I still blame myself for what happened to you Eren. And Levi, I see that horrible scene still in front of me. you standing right here, a gun to your head, me screaming your name, but it was all too late. If only you talked about it…”. Slowly I stand up, wiping my tears away. “It was all in fain” “No it wasn’t” a voice says. “Who is there?!” I shout. “Don’t be sad, Hanji” “Nothing was your fault” These voices sound so familiar to me, but it is not possible. With hesitation I slowly say: “L-Levi? E-Eren? Are you here?” “Yes Hanji, it is us. But we don’t have long” I hear Levi’s voice “We just wanted to tell you that all the things that happened to us, they weren’t your fault” Eren’s voice continues. My knees get week. I see the ground getting closer to my face and realize that I am falling down. “Nothing was your fault” is the last thing I hear before my head hits the ground.

-two days later-

A ray of light lands on my eyes. I open them carefully. I see a figure on a chair by the table in my room. “Who are you?” I ask fully awake now. The other person awakes at my loud outburst but quickly composes himself. “Ah Hanji your finally awake” he says. “Erwin is that you? What am I doing here? And why are you here?” “I found you lying on the ground next to the graves of Levi and Eren, unconscious.” Erwin pauses, waiting for me to process this information. “So all that has happened, was fake…” tears start to well in my eyes. “It was all fake” I repeat and let the tears fall. Erwin slowly comes closer and wraps his arms around me. “I am sorry to tell you this, but you need to stop blaming yourself for their death. Nothing was your fault.” I hear Levi’s and Eren’s voices again. Telling me that nothing was my fault. All the things that Erwin tells me now, they all said it too. “I guess you are all right. I couldn’t prevent Eren’s death or Levi’s suicide. But the memories will still haunt me” I whisper to Erwin. “I know… I also can’t forget that moment, but we need to live on. For them we have to be strong and fight on”  
 

-Bonus scene-

“Too bad we didn’t have longer to talk to Hanji” Eren says to Levi. “Yeah too bad. She really missed us” Levi answers. “Now we at least have some alone time” Levi continues. “A lot of alone time. What you want to do?” Eren asks. “How about this?” Levi answers and kisses Eren lust full on the mouth. “You don’t hear me complaining” Eren says. “Now how about we do this?” Levi says while his hands hovers over Eren groin. “Uhm… guys I am still here” a voice suddenly says. “Sorry Marco, forgot you were also up here” Eren says with a face red as a tomato.

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to make a cute lil ereri fanfic but this came out of it.... An epilogue is on its way to give you guys a little bit of a closure. The epilogue will take place a few years after all the death to show what kind of impact it had for the recon corps.


End file.
